Goodbyes are the Hardest Part

Here I sit.  It' is July 12th, 2014.  A regular old Saturday except that I just ate my last breakfast at my home in Santa Maria, Brazil.   If at all possible, this week has flown by fastest of all.   It has been a roller coaster ride and my emotions don't know if they are coming or going.    Two months is no time at all.  Two months is a drop in the ocean.  Having only two months is like being teased with those sample fudge pieces at the beach when you can clearly see the fudgery and full bars of chocolate through the window.   Yet, these two months were mine.  All mine.  I hope that I treated them fairly and soaked as much experience up as possible.   I wouldn't trade my two months for anything.

This last week has been full of errands, packing, and saying goodbyes.  Professora Mara had us over for dinner. It was really nice and I'm so glad I was able to spend some time with her before we left.   We said goodbye to everyone at the university including pathology, surgery, and embryolab.  We hugged all of our friends.  And I even had to watch Ashlee board a bus without me yesterday headed to Foz do Iguaçu.

The hardest part is leaving my family.   I'm going to miss them so much. What an incredible family!  They picked up some random, wide eyed American girl from the bus stop who probably looked bedraggled and bewildered and accepted her into their family with open arms.  Who does that?  Well let me tell you,  These people!   There have already been many tears shed and I haven't even left yet.  Eish!  Looking at my empty room makes me sad!  

There's a quote from Eat, Pray, Love that I wrote down when I read it.   It goes...

"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope  of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices."

I think it is so fitting.  I have been so well taken care of here it is unbelievable.  I can't think of anyway to pay them back except to pay it forward. 

So what awaits me in the next month?

Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited until the last second to plan my future travels.  I return home August 8th and I therefore have almost a month to explore Brazil.  The possibilities were endless and I had ideas ranging from volunteering at a bird sanctuary, to taking portuguese lessons, to learning to surf, to jumping from hostel to hostel, to simply staying in Santa Maria.   I finally started sending out emails this weekend to places in the pantanal.  The pantanal is one of the biggest wetlands in the world.  It hosts an amazing array of flora and fauna.  I've had my eyes set on the Pantanal before I even stepped foot in Brazil.   Lucky for me, two different farms contacted me back with the option of volunteering for two weeks in exchange for a place to sleep and food.  I was beyond happy.  My mind started to create lavish stories of the adventures I would have while working on the farms.   The hardest part was choosing which farm to go to. Both farms were similar in that they were working farms that offered a place to stay for tourists and adventure packages such as horseback riding, wildlife night drives, and fishing for piranhas.  I went about choosing in a completely logical way of making lists, worrying, complaining, stressing, asking people what to do, and flipping coins.  In the end my decision was made by the farm that responded last.  You see, having given myself less than a week to make plans, I was pressed to get the ball rolling.  Thursday afternoon, I booked a bus ticket, plane ticket, and choose a farm.   I will be volunteering for at least two weeks.  Then I'll head out to wherever the wind blows me... Probably Bonito, the Falls, and maybe Florinopolis! 

Although it is hard, almost impossible, to leave Santa Maria, I feel the need to get back on the traveling bus where it's only my backpack and the open road.  I'm ready for adventure. I can't wait to explore this new place and experience the culture of another state.   "I've got a gypsy soul to blame and I was born for leaving..."